So today might be a little out in left field for Two Homes, One Heart, but it’s something that’s been sitting on my heart and needed to be said. And while I can only speak from a mother’s perspective, I have a feeling a lot of you will nod along while reading this.
Let’s talk about mom guilt.
You know the kind. The kind that shows up uninvited, makes itself comfortable, and whispers things like “Are you really allowed to enjoy that?” or “Shouldn’t you be doing something for your kids right now?”
Recently, I took my first holiday without my children.
Let me repeat that: first.
My daughter is seven. My son is twelve. In all those years, I have never gone anywhere without them. I’ve taken my kids everywhere Mexico, the States, BC if it had a suitcase involved, they were coming with me. And I’ve never been “away” from them (and I say that in quotation marks) for more than a few days.
This time was different.
This trip was just for me.
And wow… the guilt was real.
Every single day I’d see something and think, “My kids would love this.” I’d go to buy something and immediately think, “I should be buying something for them.” It honestly took about four full days before it finally clicked:
No. I deserve this.
I deserve to relax.
I deserve to have fun.
I deserve to enjoy myself without feeling bad about it.
Now here’s the part that made this possible: my children’s father.
Because we have such a strong friendship and co‑parenting relationship, I had zero worries. And for anyone who knows me, that’s saying something, I am a massive control freak. I’ll admit it. I fully believe nobody does things better than me… including loading the dishwasher. (There is a right way. I will not be taking questions.)
But he stepped up in every way.
He took care of the kids.
He helped them take care of the cat.
He handled school.
He handled life.
And he did it well.
I wasn’t worried. Not about the kids, not about routines, not about anything. And bonus, I saved some money since the cat didn’t need to go to a boarding facility. Just the dog did. Small wins.
Was going on a holiday without my children difficult?
Absolutely.
Was it 100% deserved and 100% needed?
Also absolutely.
That time away revitalized me. It reminded me that I don’t have to do everything. I don’t have to be responsible for everything. And deep breath, I can rely on my children’s father to help carry the load and make life a little easier.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still a control freak. I’m still the only one who can load the dishwasher correctly. I’m still very set in my ways.
But now I know this: every other year, I deserve time for myself.
Maybe it’s not a cruise because yes, those can be a little pricey but it could be anything. A weekend away. A spa day. Even just a massage and some quiet. Whatever it looks like, that time is necessary.
Because being a healthy, relaxed, rejuvenated parent isn’t just good for our kids.
It’s good for our work.
It’s good for our mental health.
It’s good for everything.
Mom guilt is always there. It’s loud. It’s persistent. And it loves to tell us we’re being selfish.
But sometimes, that guilt needs to be gently put to the side.
When we talk honestly with our kids when we explain things with truth and love they understand more than we give them credit for. Sure, they might be disappointed they missed out on an experience… but maybe it just means you did a recon mission for the next family trip.
So here’s your reminder (and mine too):
Put the mom guilt down.
Take care of yourself.
Be honest with yourself.
Because you deserve it and your kids deserve a version of you that’s rested, happy, and whole.
And yes… I’ll still be loading the dishwasher.
Two Homes One Heart 